D@#n mulch bags

Mulching can be a total bitch. Especially if you have a ton of bags. This is common knowledge.

So when I decided to mulch the entire area of my garden, I knew I would be cussing quite a bit. This is because I despise carrying and shaking the big ass bag.

I always end up with a big pile, then a trail, then another pile, then sprinkles of mulch, and then I have to try and get the rest out of the bottom of the bag.

So I tried something and mulching went so much easier. Now I don’t dread the 12 other bags I have waiting on me.

I’m sure master gardeners and landscapers have plenty of hacks and easier ways to lay mulch. But I’m neither of those.

So this is for those who piddle with gardening, have little to no expertise, and hate laying mulch.

Lay the bag flat. Cut across the top of the bag in the middle.

Make sure and cut the sides too.

Simply put your hands under the bag where you cut it, and lift straight up.

Then just the bottom of the bag.

BOOM! Now you have 2 smaller bags. Easier to move. Easier to spread. Less cursing.

Happy gardening.

Thanks for stopping by!

Mosquitoes

I posted this blog last year and feel that it is one that should be shared every time it gets warm and the flying assholes emerge.

Mosquitoes love me. Especially the pterodactyl kind. Every summer for the past several years has been miserable. I even said “forget it” to gardening, something I love, thanks to those blood suckers.

I’m serious people. The mosquitoes in our yard are like….carry-your-kid-off huge, Pterodactyls…..

#jurassicworld

Around March of this year I decided that I should finally follow my mother’s advice (it’s only taken about 42 years). She’s always said to take B vitamins every day for stress and jaw-clenching… something I was experiencing.

I noticed a difference in the jaw-clenching immediately. Stress is an overwhelming thing if you don’t get it under control. Everyone has different ways of doing that. I added the Stress B Complex to my stress-reducing methods and am thankful I did. Little did I know it had an extra benefit.

That benefit: Being less attractive to mosquitoes. I continued taking Stress B-Complex once a day. When May rolled around and it was gorgeous outside I decided to take a chance and do some yard work. I thought for sure I wouldn’t last 10 minutes.

I spent hours outside and never got a single mosquito bite. None. Zero. I knew those suckers were there. I saw them…. remember, ours are pterodactyl size. They even landed on me!

In the back of my mind I was curious how it was possible I wasn’t getting bitten but at the same time didn’t put much thought into it as long as they weren’t biting the life out of me.

Then one day, scrolling through Facebook, I saw an article about vitamin B-1 and how it deters mosquitoes. You know how you read a gazillion ‘cure’, ‘DIY’, ‘the answer to all your problems’, posts that are garbage? Well this one wasn’t. I had tested out the theory before I even knew about it.

So…. B-Complex is now a daily thing. For me and my kids. I get the kids some multi-vitamin gummies with B vitamin in them. They seem to work so far.

Warning though…..B-Vitamins stink. Like, don’t carry them in your purse even in the bottle because your child might tell you your purse smells like a butt. They should also be taken close to meal or snack time. If not you may get a little burpy.

Here are some links to the products I buy off of Amazon.com. Easy Peasy!

For me:

Nature Made Stress B Complex with Zinc Tablets, 75 Count

For the kids:

Sundown Naturals Kids Star Wars Complete Multivitamin, 60

Cheapest mosquito preventative EVER!!

One more product I will throw in here for pets:

If you are looking for a GREAT flea and tick collar for your dog or cat check out what we use, Seresto, in the link below. 8 months of protection!!

I love the convenience of Amazon, especially Amazon Prime! It is worth not having to go into a stinky pet store.

Seresto Collar Dog Large 70 cm by Seresto

THE BAR

https://www.facebook.com/Channel4News/videos/10155294793981939/

She nails it! Just be prepared, when you speak up not only for yourself but for those around, some of the “fools” might not like it. 

Some find they need to “put you in your place”. They won’t hesitate to use how you are as a woman to humilate you. And they won’t ever see how what they do impacts everyone around them. 

That is on THEM! NOT YOU. Don’t pretend to be anything other than what and who you are. If that is a totally feminine woman, so be it. If that is masculine qualities mixed with some femininity, so be it. If that is all male qualities in a female’s body, so be it. 

Does that mean that your way is always the right way? No. It doesn’t.

Does that mean you shouldn’t find ways to work around differences in a professional manner? No. It doesn’t. 

Does that mean you have no  responsiblity to learn how to work WITH men instead of against them? No it doesn’t. 

Offended as a woman right now? Wondering how I could say such things? Are you reading what I just said as “bowing down” to the man?

Let me set you straight. There is no “bowing down”. There is picking battles and learning when to compromise. There is a huge amount of learning. There is a lot of time focusing on self-awareness. 

It’s give and take, ladies. And your approach is crucial. And timing is everything. If you immediately go at it like “I’m a woman, hear me roar.”, you won’t get far. Trust me. I’ve seen it happen over and over. And I’ve tried it at the wrong time and totally failed. 

The approach that has worked best for me over the years is to be quiet at first. Now let me explain something, I say “over the years” because that’s how long it has taken. I’m now at a point where I’ve been around long enough that in most situations, I don’t give a shit. But I always take the same approach. 

Does that mean allow them to harrass, degrade, or embarrass you? Um, hell no. Stand up for yourself if needed. Being “quiet” doesn’t mean being submissive. 

And I am going to go ahead and throw this out there before you read any further…men are simple. We are complex. Do not expect every man to put forth the mental effort and energy as you do. Like I said before…it’s picking battles and compromising where needed. 

When you enter a new environment filled with men you don’t know well, don’t immediately start spilling  your guts about anything  and everything.

I’m not saying be meek and mild and don’t speak at all or don’t stand up if needed. I just mean be conservative with what you share at first. And in reality, you should be conservative with what you share at all times. Not everyone is your friend or can be trusted. This includes other women (an entirety different topic and blog subject!). 

Join the group. Join the pertinant conversations. Join in the work load. Do your best. Don’t skimp. Accept some help every now and then if you need it. And certainly offer help.

Always remember there will be times when YOU are wrong and YOU are being  a fool. Own it if you mess up. And own it before someone else throws it at you. Stronger people admit they have flaws. They are self-aware and they are always monitoring how the perform. They eventually surround themselves with others  who compliment them and succeed in areas they may be slacking. It’s called ” being a team”.

This doesn’t happen overnight, in the first week, on every project, in every situation. It has taken me years to get comfortable with where I am as a woman among men. And I still have plenty of trials and errors. 

It is in those times of trial and error when you will see who has your back and who doesn’t. There is a very distinct difference in being told you messed up or that you are wrong and being “put in your place” because you are a woman. 

Trust me. I know all too well what that is like. 

There has been a time recently that I almost let it break me. But with the love and support of my rock of a husband, family, friends, counseling, and some awesome guys I work with, I came out stronger than ever.

Life is too short to let “the bar” beat the shit out of you. So stand above the fools and their bar. 

Coming out of a vacation coma

Lord help me. My vacation is almost over. 

No alarm clock has been set. 

No iternary has been followed.

No meetings attended.

No deaths. No fires. No destruction.

I have had a few conversations about work during the past week. “Blood pressure goes up” kind of conversations. Makes me dread going back. How is that possible in a career I love?  I have a love/hate relationship with it, I guess.

In my strive to reach my 25 years and not walk out the door early, I’ve decided to add more training and classes outside our department to give me a new perspective. Nothing tells you that you really do have it made quite like meeting other firefighters who don’t have it made. 

I’m also getting involved in a couple of things that might help me share some of me experiences with others, especially women and young girls. The first thing is this blog, because, well, I want all of you to know my business and how big of a mess I can be. I’m not perfect but I’ve been fairly successful in my life. A level of success that I am happy with. And if I can share something that another person can relate to and help them in any way, then “telling all” is worth it. 

The second thing…The Mayor’s Council for Women.

Whhhhat?????? The??????? Whhhhat?????

 I can hear some of you now.  “Do you even like the mayor?” “You aren’t classy enough.” “You’re too much of a smartass.”  “You have tattoos.” “You dress like a man for work. Do you even have any dressy clothes?” “Um…..you use bad words.”

I can hear you because these are all the things I’ve told myself for years as excuses to not even get involved in anything like this. I’m stepping waaaaayyy out of my comfort zone. My comfort zone is Incident Command of hellacious problems, not surrounding myself with women on a mission. I picture women way more sophisticated than me when I think of this group because I’m a little rough. But I’m going to give it a try, because that’s something I like to do….push my comfort zone.

So first of all, let’s make one thing clear…. it isn’t about the mayor. I have no ulterior motive. Not sucking up for a higher position. Not interested in political gain. 

I’ve researched the Council’s  mission. I’ve looked at their sub-committees and their goals. I even met with their Chairwoman. Maybe it’s normal for them to answer you application right away and want to meet immediately. I don’t know. But that’s what happened. And I must say, she’s a hoot! So much more like me than I imagined. She didn’t bat an eye at the fact that I had on no make-up, had some bed-head going on, and I was dressed in my work shorts and a t-shirt. 

It’s not about anything other than trying to make a difference. Trying to help someone move from one point to the other when they are hesitant. To let them know that you don’t have to be the smartest, strongest, richest, prettiest, luckiest….you just have to have some grit. You have to be able to pick yourself up when you hit the ground.  And you have to be willing to fall in the first place.

The best thing my Master’s degree in counseling gave me was self-awareness.  I have probably more of that than I need…. $30,000 worth. Ha! I believe that self-awareness is so incredibly important. Knowing strengths, weaknesses, level of tolerance, needs, and wants are the key to getting where you want to go.

I hope to be able to use some of the skills I’ve learned over the years of building my own self-awareness to help other women build theirs and gain that freedom. Because that’s self-awareness  is….freedom.

 Self-awareness can lead to self-confidence and self-control, both of which are powerful things for a woman. 

So we will see what happens. I’ll keep you posted!

Mama Chief advice

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I recently joined an organization called HERdacity, an affiliate of the nonprofit Anywhere Woman Project. HERdacity.org is an online platform that was built to bring women from all walks of life together. To inspire. To mentor. To empower.

I am not an extreme feminist. A wise woman I know, Gail Holcombe, gave me feedback for this blog. She said “Feminism  has been made extreme by folks who fear strong women”. You can be a feminist without making a scene. You “simply support women and girls in their growth”.

I feel there are places women and men don’t need to merge. After close to 20 years in the fire service, I’ve learned alot about men. We are not the same. And that should be embraced as a good thing. One thing I do believe is that women are in no way “inferior” to men.

I am what I consider an advocate for women. I feel like at this point in my life I have more than sufficient wisdom in certain areas pertaining to women. I still have a lot to learn myself but I want to help them find their courage and their voice. To change their mindset of inferiority.

I truly have incredible men in my life…my father, my husband, my brother. And I have been extremely fortunate in my career in regards to how I have been treated by the men I work with. But there is one specific incident that happened to me several months ago that triggered this need in me to aggressively begin helping women find their voice. I will blog about it later so stay tuned!

There was a post on HERdacity.org asking for advice that I felt compelled to respond to. A woman, who was the Director of Events and Marketing at a corporate office, was in a situation where her supervisor told her that she had to be at a function occurring over the weekend. Sounds like a reasonable request from a supervisor, doesn’t it, considering events are her job?

She had organized this function, had everything in place, and knew it needed no oversight. She had also worked several prior weekends in a row at larger functions and needed some time off. So when asked by her supervisor if she planned to be there, she stated she wasn’t because there was no need for her to be.

Her supervisor proceeded to tell her that, because it was going to be an event only men were attending and that men didn’t know how to make coffee, she would need to be there….TO MAKE THE COFFEE.  He then told tell her if she couldn’t attend she needed to get one of the other office ‘girls’ to be there.

WTF?????  I mean seriously….WTF?

So here was my ‘tactful’ advice to her. I hope she can find her voice.

“I give this advice as a woman who has been in the fire service for 20 years as a career firefighter.  So I am a little rough around the edges now. Haha! So take it or leave it. The fact that you are seeking advice shows you are smart.

I think this will depend on the how well you and your supervisor work together and if he has a history of this that you know of. Don’t get me wrong…this walks all over me if he wasn’t making a joke. But, you definitely did the best thing to begin with which is not pop off at the mouth or be defiant.

You have several options. Ask him if he was kidding.  Maybe he was and he thought you caught on to it. I deal with that daily. Haha.

Or don’t ask him if he was kidding, then don’t show up. You can tell him you “didn’t think he could possibly be serious considering how sexist the suggestion was”.

Ask another man in the office to go if there isn’t one going all ready.

Have a quick staff meeting on how to make coffee or just leave instructions.

Or, if he was serious and he is telling you to be there to make coffee,  find your voice. It doesn’t have to be loud to make an impact. Here are some suggestions of thing that you could say when approach him again..because you need to:

-Tell him it makes you uncomfortable to be referenced as a barista….or however you want to phrase it.

-Tell him it is an insult to the men. What man doesn’t know how to make coffee????

-Flat out tell him that he is being sexist and using you in a demeaning way.

I say all these with some silliness, but all silliness aside, pick one, make it your own, and go for it.

One thing is for sure….you are better than just making the coffee.

Good luck!”