I just realized that I will never resolve all the traumas from my past job while living in an atmosphere that is a complete mess. Literally.

I wonder why I am never truly happy. I fake my way through everything for the sake of other people. Meanwhile beating myself up for the fact that I can’t get it all done.

Yet I hold no one else accountable. I just take on their mess as well.

But I can no longer deny that I will never heal in this messy, unorganized, crowded, dirty environment.

It is time to do what I need to….but how many times have I said that? 62 times a day. Just find the motivation, organization, dedication, and guts to get it done….HA!

Or just love myself as the hot mess and be happy. Stop beating myself and go with the flow of my new lifestyle.

Step ONE: put together a plan of action….but for which? Cleaning up my environment or loving myself despite my mess?

Both. I’ll do both….


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