Consistency

I’m a good 5 days behind in my #bloganuary journey. Which shows that I need organization and time management skills. Consistent skills.

To be honest, I used to have those skills….the last 7 years of my career I ran a battalion of 50 firefighters spread across 6 different districts and firehalls and scattered on 10 different firetrucks. Before that I was a fire investigator which included being a police officer. During those years I finished graduate school, got married, and had two children.

I could keep going. But I only list those things to say that I had me shit together for a long, long, long time. And it makes me sad as I sit here and think about it.

I am retired now. I am the mother of two functioning teenagers. I have a helpful husband.

I stay at home. I have all the time in the world.

And I can’t keep up. Why? Because I don’t know how to be consistent anymore. That skill is gone. Poof.

I don’t get up and do the basics. Basics, people, basics. Simple things. Things so much easier than active shooters, derailed trains, massives fires, traumatic deaths over and over and over and over….

I know my brain is “damaged” due to accumulated trauma. It functions differently than it did. I even remember when it finally broke down. And I know what I need to do to rewire it.

Some many simple things. Prayer. Meditation. Exercise. A clean home. Hobbies. Outdoor activties. Journaling. Blogging.

I start each. I do each. I feel the difference it makes. I feel the sparks firing in my brain. But am I consistent and stick with them? Nope. Hence being 5 days behind in blogging.

Have I had the time? OH YEAH! I have all the time in the world. I am blessed with that. Yet here I sit. Behind in everything. Inconsistent, yet again.

One thought on “Consistency

  1. Knowing is one thing. Doing is another. I suffer that same problem. Don’t beat yourself up! What helps me is starting each day with quiet time… prayer and devotionals, listening and gleaning direction, writing down a plan, and then trying to stick with it. The latter part’s the hardest. But, if I get just half the list of to-do’s done, it’s better than none. Celebrate your successes. Skip those 5 days and let #6 be your #1. It’s OK!!

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