I’ve been through one of the biggest life changes and I haven’t written anything about it. Hell, I’ve never even really written about all the things leading up to this life change. I have 35 drafts of topics though! And that is only a small number of these ” ranting thoughts”. I say “ranting” because I guarantee 90% of them were written in a moment of irritation. I have plenty and they range anywhere from juicy, to stupid, to funny, to devastating.
Why have I been paying for a blog every year that I have rarely used? Because I haven’t been ready. It has been overwhelming to think about sitting down and focusing on and writing about things that hurt my soul or made no sense to me. I can’t even explain to myself what is going on in my own head, so how can I make it translate so others would get it? A majority of my therapy was formulated to get me to be able to express what was going on in my head. And I have made huge strides in expressing myself. But I’ve been stifled and it’s time to let it out.
I think I am ready to start sharing more in-depth my experiences as a female in the fire service. It is so multi-layered and complex. Each little thing ties into another, if not all ties in together. It has taken me a long time to formulate a plan on how to write about any of it. I finally came up with an idea to get me started.
I want to start sharing various “rantings” that I have written down over the years. By “writing down” I mean as in actually writing with a pen and paper as well as typing and saving notes in a simple-to-use app called Inkpad Notepad which you can check out at http://www.InkpadNotepad.com. This seems like a good and simple start to sharing what goes on in my head. I share to help others and to let others know they aren’t alone in any struggles they may have.
These thoughts I documented are so random. I just jotted down thoughts and ideas when they came to me and I remembered to document them. I am amazed at how many of these rantings I have discovered going through my fire department things (which I still haven’t gone through all of yet) as well as the long-forgotten documents I saved in Inkpad Notepad or in an email I sent to myself.
So to begin with, I bring you the random rantings of my mind. The following ones were definitely during my time as a Battalion Chief. I can’t begin to tell you an exact date because this was a running “note” of random thoughts that I kept in Inkpad Notepad on my phone. They make no sense in their order or subject but can actually be relatable to multiple incidents or issues. I figured the easiest way to begin to share was just retype them word-for-word and in order. There is no telling who I was writing about or talking to in some of these. I may have even been ranting to myself about myself.
So here we go…
“I carry a little piece of everyone’s problems on my shoulders, no matter what it is.”
“Here’s a new concept for ya….There are others with problems bigger than yours. Ones that can’t be changed. YOUR problems could change. if you just changed your attitude problem then they will “poof”…go away.”
“Rules are in place for either show or safety. Know which is which and always follow the later.”
“Watch how you speak to civilians. Their complaints against you are more likely to stick.”
“Book Chapters: Eating Humble Pie; Working with Weasels; Accidentally on Purpose”
“Things that occur when you are a female in a male-dominated work world: They disregard your expertise.; They disregard your experience.; They disregard your ideas. but then make them their own.; They disregard you as a part of the team. They might even walk right past you.; If your have any issues or problems your reaction, regardless, is “because you are a woman”.; People you think have your back, don’t.”
“The prick worries more about appearances than they do about being a prick.”
Be sure to “Like” this and follow me for more random rantings as I dive into my rantings. Eventually, I will try and piece them together by topic and share some really good stories. But for now, I will share some interesting thoughts from over the years.
Thanks for stopping by!!