This is a post from a while back that I’ve tweaked. Figured I would share it again. Because sharing is caring, right? Ha!
I’ve heard and read so much criticism about different styles of parenting. It seems that everyone is an expert in how others should do things.
I’m not an expert in anything, but I sure don’t mind saying my take on all the drama.
Listen ladies (because that’s who it is…other fucking mom’s), get over yourselves. Trust me….I’m not paying a bit of attention to what you do and how you do it with the kids God gave YOU to raise. As a matter of fact, I don’t care.
Our daughter is strong and independent…until she has a meltdown appropriate for her age. Ha! There is nothing I can do and not truly much I can control about it. Because God made her that way and gave her to US to raise.
Hover, hamper, deny…it still happens around here. Just ask my daughter. But I refuse to stifle her spirit just because I’m terrified.
And let me tell you something…. I’M FUCKING TERRIFIED. I know a hell of a lot more about what’s going on in this world than most, but still no where near as much as others. And let me tell you….if you knew and you are as tight as you are now, you would literally be petrify. Just a few recent examples:
Pulse Night Club shooting:
Intended Target was Disney Springs. No doubt about it.
There is a terrorist compound in our very city. No doubt about it.
I could go on and on.
I’ve been asked in round about ways if I would be upset if something happened to my child. You know those snide or passive-agressive remarks I’m talking about.
You would be proud of me. My first instinct is to punch. But I go with a more Godly response first….”My daughter is a gift from God. He gave her to her father and I to raise as a team. And as a team with both know that life is going to kick her in the gut more than once. And we will be there for that.” Sounds kinda lame but it’s true. If that doesn’t work then I resort to more blunt and sarcastic measures. So far I haven’t resorted to my first instinct.
We know that life isn’t fair. God didn’t make it that way. It just is. Let’s just call it the devil. She could be gone at any second. In whatever way we both fear. But that does not give us the right as her parents to stifle her.
I will never forget the feeling I felt when she wandered off at the beach. With at least 10 of us there to be watching over her. It happened so fast. And felt as if she was gone for hours. I have a special place in my heart for those who never get their child back especially those who don’t know what happened.
You would think that after that day we wouldn’t let her out of our sight. But we do. It’s no easy by any means. To think for a second that I/we don’t worry our asses off is ridiculous. God gave her to us to worry FOR her. To let her live within reasonable boundaries to become a well-rounded, high-functioning, human being that will go on to do great things.
Is she fearless? Nope. But that’s what we are here for. To calm and rationalize that fear. We are also here to tell her she BETTER be scared of certain things. Because life is a bitch!
Because I don’t confine my child doesn’t mean I don’t care as much as someone who does confine. It doesn’t mean I will be less destroyed if we no longer have a her.
You can only control so much. Anything else is forced. And, in my non-professional opinion, forced is only going to make your child weak-minded. If you make all the decisions for them, they won’t be able do shit when a big decision comes along. They will cower.
I want a strong-willed, larger than life, child. And so far as have we one. I freak out every single day when I think of all that could happen to her. But I refuse to let MY fear disrupt her path.
Own your own fear. Because that is what it is…YOUR fear. You also have step up and take on you children’s fear. That is what parenting is all about.
Be realistic. But don’t be a pansy.